I used to think public speaking meant standing on a stage, delivering a polished speech to an audience that hung on every word. It felt like something reserved for experts, for people with important things to say. It certainly wasn’t something for everyday life.
But then I started noticing something. Speaking—really speaking—was showing up in my life all the time. Not on a stage, not in front of a crowd, but in small, everyday moments. The times I had to share my thoughts in a meeting, ask for help, set a boundary, or express something deeply personal. The moments when I wanted to speak but hesitated, unsure if my words would come out right.
And I realized: public speaking isn’t just about speeches. It’s about life.
It’s about how we show up in conversations, how we express our ideas, how we make ourselves heard. It’s about finding the courage to say something when it matters, even when our voice shakes.
Why We Hold Back
Most of us don’t struggle with speaking itself—we talk all day long. What we struggle with is the fear of being seen.
What if I say the wrong thing?
What if they judge me?
What if my words don’t land the way I want them to?
This fear keeps us quiet in moments when we should speak. It makes us second-guess ourselves in meetings, keep our ideas to ourselves, or nod along when we actually disagree. We think that if we don’t say anything, we can’t mess it up.
But here’s the truth: keeping quiet isn’t safety. It’s just a missed opportunity to be heard, to make an impact, to claim our space.
Public speaking—whether in a room full of people or a one-on-one conversation—isn’t about having the perfect words. It’s about being willing to show up and trust that what you have to say matters.
Speaking as a Daily Practice
Psychology Today’s article, “Broadening the Scope of Public Speaking”, challenges the idea that speaking is just a performance skill. It’s an everyday skill.
Think about the last time you had to speak up in a situation that mattered—maybe in a meeting, a difficult conversation, or even a casual group setting.
- Did you say what you wanted to say?
- Did you hold back out of fear?
- Did you walk away wishing you had spoken differently?
We tend to think of speaking confidence as something you either have or you don’t. But in reality, it’s a practice. It’s something you strengthen by doing—by choosing, again and again, to speak instead of staying silent.
Meanwhile, The Guardian’s article, “The Everyday Applications of Public Speaking Skills,” reminds us that this isn’t just about professional success. It’s about how we show up in every area of life.
- It’s the friend who finally shares how they really feel instead of brushing it off.
- It’s the person who asks for what they need instead of assuming no one will listen.
- It’s the leader who speaks not to impress, but to connect.
Speaking isn’t about being the loudest in the room. It’s about being present, about knowing that your voice has weight—even in the smallest of moments.
Mindfulness and the Inner Journey to Lasting Confidence
So, how do we get better at speaking up? Not just in big moments, but in the small, everyday ones?
This is where mindfulness comes in.
Mindfulness isn’t just about sitting in meditation or focusing on your breath—it’s about practicing awareness in your daily life. And when it comes to speaking, mindfulness helps us notice why we hesitate, what we fear, and how we can change our relationship with those fears.
But here’s something important to remember: lasting confidence doesn’t come from quick fixes—it comes from inner work.
The fear of speaking up isn’t just a surface-level issue. For many of us, hesitation, doubt, and fear of judgment are deeply rooted—woven into childhood experiences, past criticisms, or moments where we felt like our voice didn’t matter. That doesn’t disappear in an instant.
Speaking with confidence is an inner journey—one that requires patience, practice, and a willingness to confront the fears that keep us silent. But when you commit to that journey, the results last.
How to Start Practicing Mindful Speaking
1. Notice Your Inner Dialogue
Before you even open your mouth, pay attention to the thoughts running through your mind. Are they filled with self-doubt? Are they assuming the worst? Instead of letting those fears dictate your actions, simply notice them. Awareness is the first step to change.
2. Stay Present Instead of Overthinking
So often, we aren’t actually present when we speak—we’re stuck in our heads, analyzing every word as we say it, worrying about how we sound. This disconnects us from the conversation and makes speaking feel forced or awkward.
A simple mindfulness trick? Focus on listening first. When you’re fully engaged with the moment—whether in a meeting, a conversation, or a speech—you’ll naturally respond in a more authentic way, without overthinking every word.
3. Breathe Into Confidence
Your voice is directly connected to your breath. When we’re nervous, we tend to hold our breath or breathe shallowly, making our voice shaky and small.
Before speaking, take a deep breath—in through the nose, out through the mouth. This not only calms the nervous system but also grounds your voice, making it stronger and more steady.
4. Embrace the Pause
Silence can feel scary, but in speaking, it’s a powerful tool. Instead of rushing through your words, allow yourself to pause. It gives your brain a moment to catch up, makes your words more intentional, and actually makes people listen more.
If you’re ever in a moment where your mind goes blank, instead of panicking, take a slow breath and allow yourself a pause. Your words will come back when you trust yourself to hold that space.
Your Voice Deserves to Be Heard
I once worked with someone who told me she avoided speaking in groups because she was afraid of sounding foolish. Every time she thought about speaking, doubt crept in.
“What if I mess up?”
“What if they don’t take me seriously?”
But then, she made a simple shift. Instead of asking, “Will I sound perfect?” she asked, “Do I have something meaningful to say?”
And suddenly, everything changed.
She spoke. And not only was she understood, but people wanted to hear more from her.
That’s what happens when you stop worrying about getting it right and start trusting that your words matter.
The World Needs Your Voice
The moments that define us aren’t always the big ones. Sometimes, they’re the small, quiet moments when we choose to speak up instead of staying silent.
So, where in your life is your voice needed?
And what would happen if you used it today?