Speaking anxiety can feel like a wall you can’t climb. It’s not just the act of speaking—it’s the fear of judgment, the vulnerability of being seen, and the lingering doubts about your own voice. Many people struggle with this, and it’s easy to stay silent to avoid discomfort. But what happens when silence keeps you from opportunities, relationships, or sharing the things that matter most to you?
Overcoming speaking anxiety doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of gently building confidence, starting with small, manageable actions. By taking a graduated approach, like breaking the challenge into tiny, achievable steps, you can create real change and celebrate victories along the way.
This blog isn’t just for reading. It’s a challenge. I invite you to take one step today and hold yourself accountable by tracking your progress. Let’s dive into the steps and see how far you can go.
Step 1: Start Where You Feel Safe
The first step is to practice speaking in an environment where you feel most secure. This might mean talking to someone you trust, like a close friend, family member, or partner. These one-on-one interactions create a low-pressure space to begin using your voice.
Imagine sitting with a good friend over coffee and sharing something you’ve been thinking about—a book you’re enjoying, a personal insight, or even a funny story from your week. Because the environment is familiar, you can focus on expressing yourself naturally rather than worrying about how you come across.
Why It Works
Speaking in a safe space helps reduce your focus on fear and lets you notice what’s happening in your body as you speak. Do you feel tension in your chest? Does your voice tremble? These observations aren’t about self-criticism but about understanding your experience. When you acknowledge these sensations without judgment, they lose their power over you.
Challenge
Before the day ends, reach out to someone you trust and initiate a conversation. It doesn’t have to be deep or profound—simply share something on your mind. Notice how it feels to speak and reflect afterward: What went well? Did anything surprise you? Write down one thing you felt good about in this interaction.
Step 2: Expand to a Small, Supportive Group
When one-on-one conversations feel easier, the next step is to practice speaking in a small group. A supportive audience helps you get used to being heard by multiple people while maintaining a sense of connection and safety.
Imagine you’re at a book club where the group is discussing a novel you’ve just read. Someone shares their thoughts, and when there’s a natural pause, you offer a brief insight, such as, “I loved how the author portrayed vulnerability in the main character. It felt so relatable.”
In a professional context, you might be in a team meeting brainstorming solutions. Instead of waiting silently, you could say, “I think adding this feature might improve the user experience.”
This step isn’t about dominating the conversation but about gently stepping into moments where your voice can contribute meaningfully.
Why It Works
Small groups provide a safe transition between one-on-one conversations and larger audiences. They encourage collaboration and dialogue, which shifts the focus from “performing” to engaging. Practicing this helps you build comfort with the natural flow of conversation in a group.
Challenge
Instead of focusing on what to say, focus on how it feels to be present in a group setting. Your task this week is to engage in a small group gathering and notice how you experience the conversation. Do you tend to hold back because you fear interrupting or being misunderstood? Do you find yourself rehearsing responses instead of listening fully?
At the end of the gathering, write down one moment where you contributed or felt connected to the group. Even if it’s just making eye contact or laughing along, these are subtle but important steps in building confidence in group settings.
Step 3: Practice in Low-Stakes Public Spaces
The next step is to bring your voice into public spaces where interactions are brief and low-pressure. These moments help you ease into speaking publicly without the expectation of perfection.
Imagine walking into a shop and noticing a creative display. Instead of keeping the thought to yourself, you say to the shopkeeper, “I love how you’ve arranged this—it’s so inviting.” Or, at a coffee shop, you might ask the barista, “What’s your favorite drink on the menu?” These small interactions are quick, natural ways to practice speaking up without needing a long conversation.
You can also use compliments as opportunities. For example, if you notice someone wearing a bright scarf or carrying a unique bag, you could say, “That scarf is such a fun color!” These moments let you practice connecting with others while keeping the stakes low.
Why It Works
Public spaces offer a judgment-free environment where you can speak without overthinking. The stakes are low because the interactions are fleeting, and these small moments build confidence over time.
Challenge
For the next three days, initiate one public interaction per day. It could be a compliment, a question, or a short comment. Focus on taking the step, not the outcome. At the end of each day, jot down a quick reflection: What felt natural? What surprised you? Tracking your progress will help you see how small actions add up.
Step 4: Join a Group Setting or Workshop
By now, you’ve practiced one-on-one conversations, small groups, and brief public interactions. The next step is to participate in structured group settings where speaking is encouraged but not mandatory. These environments provide a supportive framework to help you practice sharing your voice while connecting with others.
Imagine joining a cooking workshop where introductions are part of the experience. When it’s your turn, you might say something like, “Hi, I’m Jamie. I’ve always enjoyed baking but wanted to learn more about savory dishes.” It’s brief, simple, and authentic, offering a glimpse of who you are without feeling overwhelming.
In a professional setting, consider attending a networking event. You could introduce yourself with something like, “Hi, I’m Alex. I’m a graphic designer, and I love bringing complex ideas to life through visuals.” These kinds of introductions are short and purposeful, helping you engage with others in a meaningful way.
If public speaking still feels intimidating, focus on listening first. Observe how others participate and take note of what feels approachable to you. When you’re ready, contribute a small thought or idea.
Why It Works
Structured group settings provide a safe middle ground: you’re encouraged to participate, but you’re not the sole focus. The shared experience creates a sense of connection, and because everyone is contributing, you’re less likely to feel singled out. Over time, these settings help you practice managing the natural nervousness that comes with speaking in front of new people.
These environments also give you the opportunity to prepare in advance. Crafting a short introduction or deciding on a thought to share allows you to feel more confident and in control when the moment arises.
Challenge
Commit to participating in one group activity within the next two weeks. This could be a local class, a workshop, or a community meeting. Your goal is to contribute in some way—whether by introducing yourself, sharing a thought, or asking a question.
Afterward, take time to reflect. Ask yourself:
- How did participating feel compared to your initial expectations?
- What did you enjoy about the experience?
- What would you do differently next time?
Write these reflections down as a way to celebrate your progress and identify areas for growth. Remember, each step forward is a victory, no matter how small.
Step 5: Embrace Larger Audiences Gradually
Finally, when you’re ready, step into larger speaking opportunities. By now, you’ve built a foundation of confidence and resilience, and these moments become less about “conquering fear” and more about stepping fully into your voice.
Volunteer for a short presentation at work, such as summarizing progress on a project or introducing an idea during a meeting. A clear and concise approach—focusing on just one or two key points—helps keep this manageable while still making an impact.
In a community setting, you might participate in a local storytelling event or share insights as part of a panel discussion. For instance, recounting a personal story about overcoming a challenge can resonate deeply with others and help build your confidence in connecting with an audience. These experiences shift your focus from performance to presence, allowing you to find satisfaction in simply sharing your perspective.
If a formal speaking opportunity feels too overwhelming, consider starting with an informal setting, like leading a group discussion among colleagues or introducing a topic at a community gathering. Small acts of leadership in a larger setting are powerful steps forward.
Why It Works
Larger audiences are often seen as the ultimate challenge, but they don’t have to feel intimidating if approached gradually. These moments are not about perfection but about participation—engaging with your audience, sharing something meaningful, and trusting in the progress you’ve made. Each step toward this goal has strengthened your ability to stand in your voice and speak with authenticity, and this stage allows you to celebrate how far you’ve come.
Challenge
Within the next month, choose a speaking opportunity that stretches you. This could be presenting an idea in a formal meeting, participating in a panel discussion, or leading a small workshop. To prepare, visualize yourself speaking with confidence—imagine your voice steady, your body grounded, and your message clear.
Once the opportunity is complete, take time to reflect on what felt successful, where you grew, and how it shifted your perception of speaking. Use this as a stepping stone to dream about what your next speaking goal might be, allowing each experience to build upon the last.
The Journey to Fearless Speaking
Fearless speaking is a balance of inner transformation and outward action. To truly reshape your relationship with your voice and overcome speaking anxiety, you must engage in consistent practice while also tending to the inner journey that reveals the deeper roots of your fear.
Reflection allows you to uncover the stories, judgments, or past experiences that contribute to your hesitation. By identifying these patterns, you can reframe fear with self-compassion and connect to your core message, which is the key truth you want to share with your audience.
Once you have this inner clarity, it becomes the foundation for action. Public speaking exercises and gradual exposure to speaking opportunities let you test your confidence and improve your ability to communicate effectively. Together, this combination of inner work and outward practice creates a cycle of growth, alignment, and authentic self-expression.
Accountability is a critical part of this process. By journaling your progress, setting achievable daily or weekly speaking goals, or sharing your journey with a trusted friend or mentor, you ensure you stay on track. Each small step, whether introducing yourself in a group or speaking up in a meeting, is a step toward trusting your voice and using it with purpose.
This journey isn’t about achieving perfection in public speaking. It’s about making steady progress and fostering connection. Every compliment you give, every group conversation you join, and every story you share proves to yourself that your voice matters. Celebrate every win, reflect on your growth, and honor the courage it takes to show up.
Your voice is a powerful tool and a reflection of your unique brilliance. The more you practice speaking with intention, the more natural it becomes to communicate with confidence, clarity, and authenticity. Trust the process, stay consistent, and let every step bring you closer to overcoming speaking anxiety and sharing your voice fully and fearlessly.
P.S. You don’t have to stay stuck in silence. I mentor people through this exact process, and together we uncover the blocks, steady the nerves, and build the kind of confidence that lasts. Email me at doreen@doreendowning.com, and let’s explore what your next step could look like—with support this time, not struggle.